Aishwarya Rai

Green-eyed mega-goddess Aishwarya Rai is rumored to be on the verge of signing up as the next Bond Girl in the forthcoming blockbuster From Bollywood With Love.

Originally billed under the working title of Bond 22 the new 007 extravaganza will co-star an as-yet uncast new hero after Daniel Craig was voted a macho flop in the 2006 re-make of Casino Royale.

The plot revolves around British and Russian intelligence agencies race to locate the ultimate living female deity and patent her genes for future use in the war against the birth of ugly human beings.

Needless to say this genetic material is to be activated by the ultra-fertile Bond hero himself who agrees to sacrifice his fabled secret service career in the pursuit of fathering a new super-race of the ultimate living gods.

The plot almost succeeds in as much as the pair meet and fall in love. But disaster suddenly strikes in the form of a Mossad double agent who has been engineered to resemble Aishwarya who is then kidnapped while Bond is forced to mate with the doppelganger.

“We can’t say too much about the rest of the plotlines just in case Ms Rai turns down the offer and we have to go back to the drawing board,” a film studio source said today.

“We would be loathed, hwoever, to have to hire some Scientology chick like Katie Holmes just to fulfill the fantasy of the alien-loving morons in California.”