Aishwarya Rai

“Don’t call us Bollywood Brangelina!” an angry Aishwarya Rai told reporters today as she and her husband Abishek Bachchan fended of comparisons to Hollywood’s golden couple.

“For a start I am not an anorexic bag of bones and do not take cocaine,” Aishwarya protested vehemently.”And I don’t drink like a fish, either!

“I don’t do nudity or gratuitous sex, and I certainly don’t try to entice my husband with silly stories about extra-marital lesbian flings.

“And I do not need to promote myself like some desperate hooker because my self esteem is grounded in my beauty and my talent.

“Then there’s the matter of adoption and children.

“When Abishek and I are ready I fully expect to have two, maybe three children of our own.

“But I would never saddle my wonderful spouse with somebody else’s brats or give our children daft names like Shiloh Nouvel.

“I ask you.

“Maybe Mrs Pit needs a reality check with this constant comparison to me and my lovely Abishek.

“Personally I believe the rumors that Brad is ready to dump her and ho back to the love of his life, that Jennifer Anniston.

“And it will serve Angelina right!”